D r e a m B i g g e r
against Women & Children
Dream Bigger is committed to preventing violence against women & children through advocacy, financial, educational & career coaching, connection to community & networking, the creation of new innovative services and some very serious community awareness!
Is Violence A Problem In My Community?
FAMILY VIOLENCE ACCOUNTS FOR THE DEATHS OF MORE WOMEN THAN CANCER, MALARIA, TRAFFIC INJURIES AND WAR COMBINED
4 women Die daily as a result of intimate partner violence
Every 45 seconds a woman is battered by her partner
#1 Cause of birth defects is violence during pregnancy
50-75% of men who batter their wives abuse their children
Boys exposed to violence will most likely repeat it
Not from someone else’s neighborhood, a lower class or community, they
are the same women who are active community members living next
door, in school with our children, driving in our carpools, working along-side
us, standing with us in the grocery line & serving in volunteer positions in the community.
Many endure dangerous home situations
with powerful abusers who often hold professional positions in the
community & are quite capable of follow through on their threats of
increased violence, financial & social ruin. Most have such a shiny public image that those on the outside couldn't imagine him capable of behaving violently toward his wife & children in the privacy of their home.
These situations demand a unique approach
to services in planning for their safety and future financial
stability. Most of these women and children without the proper support
& resources will be forced into poverty & possible
The Dream Bigger Safe Home Project
provides financial coaching, housing application support, negotiation with property owners, assistance gathering furniture & household supplies and hands-on moving help, just to name a few of the services provided.
SOME GLARING STATISTICS:
Once a woman gathers the courage
to escape her violent home life and seek help, her chances of death increase by 75%.
According to World Health Organization
Violence accounts for more death & disability than cancer, malaria, traffic injuries & war combined. Escape is not for the faint of heart
75% of our homeless populationare women & children fleeing domestic violence. The long standing effects can be compared to identity theft, terrorism & stalking to name just a few.
Women & children commonly lose their homes as a result of Family Violence, creating more loss and insecurity for them. Community services often provide Rental Housing Subsidies but the waiting list is often 2-3 years! Home is virtually non-existent. Women & children commonly lose their homes as a result of Family Violence, creating more loss and insecurity for them. Community services often provide Rental Housing Subsidies but the waiting list is often 2-3 years! Home is virtually non-existent.
Many women don’t fit into the services mold
They haven’t sought rooms at local shelters, and simply don't
have the time or energy needed to research the overwhelming paperwork involved in seeking local social services. They're already overwhelmed
defending themselves in court, scrambling to pay bills, feed & clothe their
children and keep a roof over their heads. Their situations are complex and the assistance they need often simply doesn’t
exist – they're clearly in need of a different and new venue of services. Present Emergency
Heating and Utility services are difficult to obtain & often calls for copies of Late Notices, which means
putting their safety at further risk, complicating the hope of Home
Refinance. When communities provide Rental Assistance, the offer is not extended for
women Home Owners facing Home Foreclosure.
It should be no surprise to us then, that only
1% of Real Estate is owned by WomenThe Dream Bigger Safe Home Project weaves together local
resources, financial creativity & more to help women avoid losing their homes or to help them secure new safe homes.
willingness to be a part of this dream will help build hope for families, often the Boost these women need to believe they
can make it to a better future, knowing they’re not alone. They now have the
Dream Bigger support network walking along-side them to a safe & successful future.
Home Repair can be an overwhelming
For women in the after-math of Family Violence, home repair can feel quite daunting. Dream Bigger has launched
Volunteer Work Parties to help make home repair & maintenance much more attainable.
is less difficult with a support group of neighbors and friends - that’s
what Dream Bigger is all about
Learning how to do some of the maintenance
procedures on their own is a natural result that comes from each work party,
which Boosts the self confidence of women.
businesses have been generous in discounting and donating materials. Our support
network is growing and has proved invaluable to families who previously felt alone.
Dream Bigger exists
to prevent violence against women & children, providing hope & for those wounded by family violence, dreaming with those whose dreams have become too heavy to
"Dream Bigger helped me find resources in
my community that I didn't know existed, helped me see I wasn't alone, provided
a support network that developed into lifetime friendships & paid for me to
attend advocacy trainings so I can be a support to other women myself. My
future is filled with much more hope now" -a Thankful Mom With Young Kids
TAKING A STAND IN YOUR COMMUNITY
MEANS HOLDING MEN ACCOUNTABLE
Abusive men can change - but only with the right help from the right intervention program and ... a community of men holding him accountable on behalf of his wife & children.
Women should have their own separate counselor skilled specifically in working with Domestic Violence victims. It's likely she may find the best help at the local domestic violence agency. A weekly domestic violence support group provides the best support & long term outcome for healing.
Counselors & Intervention programs may not have the necessary skills to counsel abusive men, often increasing danger to women & children. Violence Professional Lundy Bancroft offers resources on how to assess whether your community's program is a valid & successful one: www.lundybancroft.com
Dream Bigger highly recommends Northwest Family Life in Lynnwood, Washington: www.NwFamilyLife.org
A VIOLENT MAN & HIS TACTICS:
His goal is to convince you his partner is crazy &
making up the stories of violence. He'll try to convince you
that HE is the victim. The truth is, in 95% of domestic violence cases, the
perpetrator is male.
BREAK THE STEREO-TYPES:
all have a neighbor, friend, relative or co-worker affected by family
violence, you just don't know it yet, he is probably the "nicest guy" you'll ever meet. The more educated & informed you are, the better equipped you'll be
to help a woman & her children cope with the Violence.
BE CAREFUL TALKING TO HIM:
Most people unknowingly empower these
violent men who are so "believable", putting the woman &
children in more danger than they were before.
He will use you to "gather information" about her, by pretending to care. She may be punished in private for exposing any information whatsoever. His manipulative ways are a practiced pattern.
VIOLENT MEN NEVER LOOK "THE TYPE"
He could be in Law Enforcement, a Medical Professional, a Clergyman or in the Military. Violence happens even in very high-profile homes. He may be a well-loved, charming community member armed with the mastery to manipulate the most discerning individual. He can be very deceptive & manipulative! He might just be very powerful & capable of destroying her life with evil ease. Don't be fooled by his front of "care", anything
you say to these men may be twisted & used to hurt the
women & children.
FAMILY VIOLENCE IS ABOUT POWER/CONTROL
Violent men terrorize their families daily behind closed doors.
Imagine being kidnapped & terrorized by someone twice your size,
power & financial standing, one who has the power to destroy your relationship with your
children, friends, earning power, home, reputation. People suffer as Victims of Identity Theft by strangers, their lives left in ruins. Imagine the destruction a violent deceptive husband has the power to do to his wife's financial future? Financial Abuse by a Violent
Husband is the worst kind of Identity Theft there is!
Hearing her tell about One Incident of violence here & there,
seem less severe, and may even look to you as if they were isolated incidents, but when your friend confides in you remember -
what she's telling you is only The Tip Of The Iceberg. His Threats Are Daily and Real, the destruction - devastating to her future. He may threaten her to re-cant her story or he'll hurt or take away the children, cut off finances, kill her pets, destroy her belongings & home, make her homeless, physically hurt or kill her & more. She knows too well what he is capable of. When a woman gets the courage to leave, that infuriates her abuser & increases her chance of Death by 75%! (& others wonder why she doesn't just leave?)
He may escalate his charm so others think he's Mr. Wonderful.
He may convince you she's crazy so you won't believe her .
He'll try to get info from
you in a sly way, pretending to care.
ALL INFO YOU GIVE HIM MAY HARM THE VICTIM
Once a woman begins to tell others or tries to leave the relationship, she's 75% more likely to be Killed By Her Partner. The Danger Increases. Never under-estimate the dangerous situation she & her children are experiencing.
HE WILL ESCALATE & BECOME MORE VIOLENT!
He will claim he is innocent or repentant
& may try to convince you that he is the
victim. The truth is, in 95% of domestic violence, the
perpetrator is male. Without
proper training, most people unknowingly empower violent men who are so "believable" simply by talking with him, falling prey to his deception & manipulation & Information-gathering schemes - putting the woman &
her children in even more danger than they were before, risking their lives!
DON'T UNDER-ESTIMATE HIS VIOLENCE
At this time there are very few successful batterer intervention programs. Dream Bigger highly recommends Northwest Family Life Counseling in Lynnwood, Washington: http://nwfamilylife.org/
If you know a woman suffering in Family Violence, consider encouraging her to take part in a 10-week
When Love Hurts Group for women; for more info call: Mary Lee, M.C., Bellingham, Washington, 360-961-3975 .
*Please Spread The Word If you know a woman who is experiencing or has experienced Intimate Partner Violence. This Group is a Very Healing, Safe and Nurturing experience.