Fall 2011
DREAM BIGGER
- Dream Bigger is committed to preventing violence against women & children through advocacy, financial, educational & career coaching, connection to current community services through resourcing & networking, the creation & development of new innovative services and some very serious community awareness!
Women & children commonly lose their homes as a
result of Family Violence, creating more loss and insecurity for them.
Community services often provide Rental Housing Subsidies but the waiting list is often 2-3 years! Home Mortgage Assistance is virtually non-existent. Of our
community’s Homeless, 75% consist of women & children escaping Family
Violence. These women
are not from someone else’s neighborhood, from a lower class or community, they
are the same women and children who were active community members living next
door, in school with our children, driving in our carpools, working along-side
us, standing with us in the grocery line and serving in volunteer positions throughout
the community.
Many women don’t fit into the mold of
current services. They haven’t sought rooms at local shelters, and simply don't
have the time or energy needed to research their local social services. They're already overwhelmed
defending themselves in court, scrambling to pay bills, feed & clothe their
children and keep a roof over their heads. Their situations are complex and the assistance they need often simply doesn’t
exist – they’re clearly in need of a different venue of services.
Present Emergency
Heating and Utility services can be difficult to obtain, and often calls for copies of Late Notices, which means
putting their credit score at risk, further complicating the hope of Home
Refinance. When communities provide Rental Assistance, the offer is never extended for
women facing Home Foreclosure. It should be no surprise to us then, that only
1% of Real Estate is owned by Women.
The lasting effects of Family Violence on women and children can
be compared to identity theft, terrorism and more. These situations demand a unique approach to
services in planning for their safety and future financial stability. Most of
these women and children without the proper support and resources will be
forced into poverty and possible homelessness. Many are enduring dangerous home situations
with powerful abusers who often hold professional positions in the community
and are quite capable of follow through on their threats of increased violence,
financial and social ruin. According to the National Coalition on domestic
violence, once a woman gathers enough strength and courage to escape her violent home life and seek help, her
chances of death increase by 75%. According to The World
Health Organization, among
women ages 15-44, violence accounts for more death & disability than the
combined effects of cancer, malaria, traffic injuries & war combined. Clearly her escape is not for the faint of heart.
Our Safe Home Project helps women Avoid Home Foreclosure and
Secure Homes. As donated funds become
available, Dream Bigger fills the gap between the family’s current financial
abilities and the actual cost of their mortgage. Advisors & Advocates weave together local
resources in Home Refinance, Repair and Re-location. Women often share how
their lives were positively impacted by Dream Bigger, how the support they
received was Life-Changing! Most often in response they choose to become advocates
themselves to help other women as a result of the support they received. Your
willingness to be a part of this dream will help build hope for families – often just the Boost they need to believe they
can make it to a better future, knowing they’re not alone. They now have a
dream network of supportive new friends willing to walk along-side them to a much
more successful outcome.
Home Repair and maintenance can be an overwhelming
challenge even in the best of circumstances, but for women and children in the after-math of Family Violence, it can be quite daunting. Dream Bigger has launched
Volunteer Work Parties to help make home maintenance much more attainable. Life
is less difficult with a support group of neighbors and friends - that’s
what Dream Bigger is all about. Learning how to do some of the maintenance
procedures on their own is a natural result that comes from each work party,
which Boosts the self confidence of the women and her children. Local
businesses have been generous in discounting and donating supplies and
materials, so the results can be attributed to a community effort. Our support
network is growing and has proved invaluable to many women and their children
who had previously felt very alone and overwhelmed.
Dream Bigger exists
to prevent violence against women and children, providing hope and resources
for those wounded by family violence - their dreams have become too heavy to
realize alone. Women express their gratitude saying they'd
never have made it without Dream Bigger. Most become volunteers themselves to support other women,
which ends up being a large part of their own healing experience. Our small fundraisers have increased
awareness, but is not enough to keep up with the financial demand of our
mission as compared with the increasing need. It's our hope that you'll join us and support Dream Bigger.
"Dream Bigger helped me find resources in
my community that I didn't know existed, helped me see I wasn't alone, provided
a support network that developed into lifetime friendships & paid for me to
attend advocacy trainings so I can be a support to other women myself. My
future is filled with much more hope now". -A Thankful Mom With Young Kids. www.DreamBigger.info
Is Family Violence Really A Problem
In My Community?
According to a World
Health Organization Fact Sheet, among women ages 15-44, violence
accounts for more death and disability than the combined effects of
cancer, malaria, traffic injuries and war.
4 women Die every day as a result of intimate partner violence
Every 45 seconds a woman is battered by her intimate partner
#1 cause of birth defects is violence against pregnant women
50-75% of men who batter their wives also abuse their children
A boy
who grows up witnessing his father abusing his mother is
1000% (one
thousand) more likely to repeat that pattern
TAKING A STAND IN YOUR COMMUNITY
MEANS HOLDING MEN ACCOUNTABLE FOR THEIR VIOLENCE
These violent men can change - only with the right help from the right batters intervention program & a community of men who Will hold him accountable on behalf of his wife & children
A VIOLENT MAN & HIS TACTICS:
His goal is to convince you his partner is crazy &
making up the stories of violence. He'll try to convince you
that HE is the victim. The truth is, in 95% of domestic violence, the
perpetrator is male.
BREAK THE STEREO-TYPES:
We
all have a neighbor, friend, relative or co-worker affected by family
violence. The more informed you are, the better equipped you'll be
to help a woman & her children cope with the Violence.
BE CAREFUL TALKING TO HIM:
Most people unknowingly empower these
violent men who are so "believable", putting the woman &
children in more danger than they were before.
He will use you to "gather information" about her, by pretending to care. She may be punished in private for exposing him. His manipulative ways are a practiced pattern.
VIOLENT MEN NEVER LOOK "THE TYPE"
He could be in Law Enforcement, a Medical Professional, a Clergyman or in the Military. Violence happens even in very high-profile homes. He may be a well-loved, charming community member armed with the mastery to manipulate the most discerning individual. He can be very deceptive & manipulative! He might just be very powerful & capable of destroying her life with evil ease. Don't be fooled by his front of "care", anything
you say to these men may be twisted & used to hurt the
women & children.
FAMILY VIOLENCE IS ABOUT POWER & CONTROL
Violent men terrorize their families daily behind closed doors.
Imagine being kidnapped & terrorized by someone twice your size,
social
power & financial standing, one who has the power to destroy your relationship with your
children, friends, earning power, home, reputation. People daily suffer as Victims of Identity Theft by strangers - their lives left in ruins. Imagine the destruction a violent deceptive husband has the power to do to his wife's financial situation? Financial Abuse by a Violent
Husband is the worst kind of Identity Theft there is!
HIS THREATS
Hearing her tell about One Incident of violence here and there,
may
seem less severe, and may even look to you as if they were isolated incidents, but when your friend confides in you remember -
what she's telling you is only The Tip Of The Iceberg. His Threats Are Daily and Real, the destruction - devastating to her future. He may threaten her to re-cant her story or he'll hurt or take away the children, cut off finances, kill her pets, destroy her belongings & home, make her homeless, physically hurt or kill her & more. She knows too well what he is capable of. When a woman gets the courage to leave, that infuriates her abuser & increases the chances of her Death by 75%! And others wonder why she doesn't just leave?
He may escalate his charm, so others will think he's Mr. Wonderful.
He may try to convince you she's crazy so you won't believe her when you tell of his violence in private.
He'll try to get info from
you in a very sly way, pretending to care.
ANY INFORMATION YOU GIVE HIM MAY HARM THE VICTIM. Once a woman begins to tell others or tries to leave the relationship, she's 75% more likely to be Killed By Her Partner - The Danger Increases - Never under-estimate the dangerous situation she & her children may be experiencing - HE WILL ESCALATE & BECOME MORE VIOLENT!
HE WILL CLAIM HE IS INNOCENT or repentant & may try to convince you that he is actually the
victim. The truth is, in 95% of domestic violence, the
perpetrator is male. Without
proper training, most people unknowingly empower these
violent men who are so "believable" simply by talking with him, falling prey to his deception & manipulation & Information-gathering schemes - putting the woman &
her children in even more danger than they were before, risking their very lives! DON'T UNDER-ESTIMATE WHAT HE IS CAPABLE OF!
At this time there are very few batterer intervention programs that are successful. Dream Bigger highly recommends Northwest Family Life in Lynnwood, Washington: http://nwfamilylife.org/
If you know a woman suffering in Family Violence, consider encouraging her to take part in a 10-week
When Love Hurts Group for women; for more info call: Mary Lee, M.C., Bellingham, Washington, 360-961-3975 .
*New Groups will be forming soon on Friday Evenings in April 2012 (or possibly other times/dates, please call to inquire). *Please Spread The Word If you know a woman who is experiencing or has experienced Intimate Partner Violence. This Group is a Very Healing, Safe and Nurturing experience.
This book is also available at the Bellingham Public Library: http://216.57.213.200/ipac20/ipac.jsp?session=1331625T5VV14.86382&profile=rcat&source=~!horizon&view=subscriptionsummary&uri=full=3100001~!937069~!7&ri=1&aspect=subtab23&menu=search&ipp=20&spp=20&staffonly=&term=when+love+hurts+&index=.GW&uindex=&aspect=subtab23&menu=search&ri=1
