Dream Bigger - Preventing Violence Against Women & Children
                                                             

DREAM BIGGER

  • Dream Bigger is committed to preventing violence against women & children through advocacy, financial, educational & career coaching, connection to current community services through resourcing & networking, the creation & development of new innovative services and some very serious community awareness!

Women & children commonly lose their homes as a result of Family Violence, creating more loss and insecurity for them. Community services often provide Rental Housing Subsidies but the waiting list is often 2-3 years! Home is virtually non-existent. Of our community’s Homeless, 75% consist of women & children escaping Family Violence. These women are not from someone else’s neighborhood, from a lower class or community, they are the same women and children who were active community members living next door, in school with our children, driving in our carpools, working along-side us, standing with us in the grocery line and serving in volunteer positions throughout the community.
 
Many women don’t fit into the mold of current services. They haven’t sought rooms at local shelters, and simply don't have the time or energy needed to research their local social services. They're already overwhelmed defending themselves in court, scrambling to pay bills, feed & clothe their children and keep a roof over their heads. Their situations are complex and the assistance they need often simply doesn’t exist – they’re clearly in need of a different venue of services. Present Emergency Heating and Utility services can be difficult to obtain, and often calls for copies of Late Notices, which means putting their at risk, further complicating the hope of Home Refinance. When communities provide Rental Assistance, the offer is never extended for women facing Home Foreclosure. It should be no surprise to us then, that only 1% of Real Estate is owned by Women.
 
The lasting effects of Family Violence on women and children can be compared to identity theft, terrorism and more.  These situations demand a unique approach to services in planning for their safety and future financial stability. Most of these women and children without the proper support and resources will be forced into poverty and possible homelessness.  Many are enduring dangerous home situations with powerful abusers who often hold professional positions in the community and are quite capable of follow through on their threats of increased violence, financial and social ruin. According to the National Coalition on domestic violence, once a woman gathers enough strength and courage to escape her violent home life and seek help, her chances of death increase by 75%. According to The World Health Organization, among women ages 15-44, violence accounts for more death & disability than the combined effects of cancer, malaria, traffic injuries & war combined. Clearly her escape is not for the faint of heart.
 
Our Safe Home Project helps women Avoid Home and Secure Homes.  As donated funds become available, Dream Bigger fills the gap between the family’s current financial abilities and the actual cost of their mortgage.  Advisors & Advocates weave together local resources in Home Refinance, Repair and Re-location. Women often share how their lives were positively impacted by Dream Bigger, how the support they received was Life-Changing! Most often in response they choose to become advocates themselves to help other women as a result of the support they received. Your willingness to be a part of this dream will help build hope for families –  often just the Boost they need to believe they can make it to a better future, knowing they’re not alone. They now have a dream network of supportive new friends willing to walk along-side them to a much more successful outcome.
 
Home Repair and maintenance can be an overwhelming challenge even in the best of circumstances, but for women and children in the after-math of Family Violence, it can be quite daunting. Dream Bigger has launched Volunteer Work Parties to help make home maintenance much more attainable. Life is less difficult with a support group of neighbors and friends - that’s what Dream Bigger is all about. Learning how to do some of the maintenance procedures on their own is a natural result that comes from each work party, which Boosts the self confidence of the women and her children. Local businesses have been generous in discounting and donating supplies and materials, so the results can be attributed to a community effort. Our support network is growing and has proved invaluable to many women and their children who had previously felt very alone and overwhelmed.
 
Dream Bigger exists to prevent violence against women and children, providing hope and resources for those wounded by family violence - their dreams have become too heavy to realize alone. Women express their gratitude saying they'd never have made it without Dream Bigger. Most become volunteers themselves to support other women, which ends up being a large part of their own healing experience.  Our small fundraisers have increased awareness, but is not enough to keep up with the financial demand of our mission as compared with the increasing need. It's our hope that you'll join us and support Dream Bigger.   

"Dream Bigger helped me find resources in my community that I didn't know existed, helped me see I wasn't alone, provided a support network that developed into lifetime friendships & paid for me to attend advocacy trainings so I can be a support to other women myself. My future is filled with much more hope now".  -A Thankful Mom With Young Kids.  www.DreamBigger.info



Is Family Violence Really A Problem
In My Community?

According to a World Health Organization Fact Sheet, among women ages 15-44, violence accounts for more death and disability than the combined effects of cancer, malaria, traffic injuries and war.

4 women Die every day as a result of intimate partner violence

Every 45 seconds a woman is battered by her intimate partner

#1 cause of birth defects is violence against pregnant women

50-75% of men who batter their wives also abuse their children

A boy who grows up witnessing his father abusing his mother is

1000% (one thousand) more likely to repeat that pattern

Never underestimate what abusive men will do, especially after being confronted for their evil behavior: http://www.domesticviolencecrimewatch.com/ 



    TAKING A STAND IN YOUR COMMUNITY

     MEANS HOLDING MEN ACCOUNTABLE FOR THEIR VIOLENCE

These violent men can change - only with the right help from the right batters intervention program & a community of men who Will hold him accountable on behalf of his wife & children

A VIOLENT MAN & HIS TACTICS:
His goal is to convince you his partner is crazy & making up the stories of violence.  He'll try to convince you that HE is the victim. The truth is, in 95% of domestic violence, the perpetrator is male.

BREAK THE STEREO-TYPES:
We all have a neighbor, friend, relative or co-worker affected by family violence.  The more informed you are, the better equipped you'll be to help a woman & her children cope with the Violence.

BE CAREFUL TALKING TO HIM:
Most people unknowingly empower these violent men who are so "believable", putting the woman & children in more danger than they were before.  He will use you to "gather information" about her, by pretending to care. She may be punished in private for exposing him. His manipulative ways are a practiced pattern.

VIOLENT MEN NEVER LOOK "THE TYPE"
He could be in Law Enforcement, a Medical Professional, a Clergyman or in the Military. Violence happens even in very high-profile homes. He may be a well-loved, charming community member armed with the mastery to manipulate the most discerning individual. He can be very deceptive & manipulative! He might just be very powerful & capable of destroying her life with evil ease.  Don't be fooled by his front of "care", anything you say to these men may be twisted & used to hurt the women & children.

FAMILY VIOLENCE IS ABOUT POWER & CONTROL
Violent men terrorize their families daily behind closed doors. Imagine being kidnapped & terrorized by someone twice your size, social power & financial standing, one who has the power to destroy your relationship with your children, friends, earning power,  home, reputation. People daily suffer as Victims of Identity Theft by strangers - their lives left  in ruins. Imagine the destruction a violent deceptive husband has the power to do to his wife's financial situation?  Financial Abuse by a Violent Husband is the worst kind of Identity Theft there is!

HIS THREATS
Hearing her tell about One Incident of violence here and there,
may seem less severe, and may even look to you as if they were isolated incidents, but when your friend confides in you remember - what she's telling you is only The Tip Of The Iceberg. His Threats Are Daily and Real, the destruction - devastating to her future. He may threaten her to re-cant her story or he'll hurt or take away the children, cut off finances, kill her pets, destroy her belongings & home, make her homeless, physically hurt or kill her & more. She knows too well what he is capable of.  When a woman gets the courage to leave, that infuriates her abuser & increases the chances of her Death by 75%! And others wonder why she doesn't just leave?

He may escalate his charm, so others will think he's Mr. Wonderful.

He may try to convince you she's crazy so you won't believe her when you tell of his violence in private.

He'll try to get info from you in a very sly way, pretending to care.

ANY INFORMATION YOU GIVE HIM MAY HARM THE VICTIM. Once a woman begins to tell others or tries to leave the relationship, she's 75% more likely to be Killed By Her Partner - The Danger Increases - Never under-estimate the dangerous situation she & her children may be experiencing - HE WILL ESCALATE & BECOME MORE VIOLENT!

HE WILL CLAIM HE IS INNOCENT or repentant & may try to convince you that he is actually the victim. The truth is, in 95% of domestic violence, the perpetrator is male. Without proper training, most people unknowingly empower these violent men who are so "believable" simply by talking with him, falling prey to his deception & manipulation & Information-gathering schemes - putting the woman & her children in even more danger than they were before, risking their very lives! DON'T UNDER-ESTIMATE WHAT HE IS CAPABLE OF!

At this time there are very few batterer intervention programs that are successful. Dream Bigger highly recommends Northwest Family Life in Lynnwood, Washington: http://nwfamilylife.org/

*Author & Violence Intervention Professional Lundy Bancroft tells how to determine if the programs in your community are running a valid and successful program: http://www.lundybancroft.com/?page_id=142


If you know a woman suffering in Family Violence, consider encouraging her to take part  in a 10-week 
When Love Hurts Group for women; for more info call:  Mary Lee, M.C., Bellingham, Washington, 360-961-3975 .  
*New Groups will be forming soon on Friday Evenings in April 2012 (or possibly other times/dates, please call to inquire). *Please Spread The Word If you know a woman who is experiencing or has experienced Intimate Partner Violence.  This Group is a Very Healing, Safe and Nurturing experience.  

This book is also available at the Bellingham Public Library: http://216.57.213.200/ipac20/ipac.jsp?session=1331625T5VV14.86382&profile=rcat&source=~!horizon&view=subscriptionsummary&uri=full=3100001~!937069~!7&ri=1&aspect=subtab23&menu=search&ipp=20&spp=20&staffonly=&term=when+love+hurts+&index=.GW&uindex=&aspect=subtab23&menu=search&ri=1 




SUPPORTING
DREAM BIGGER 
COULDN'T BE EASIER! 

Your Financial Gifts Are 
Life-Changing To Women 
& Their Children

Many have shared how their lives were Positively Impacted By Dream Bigger!Your Gift Will Help With Trainings, Advocacy, Art As Healing Groups, Books, Resources, the Safe Home Project & More. 

Dream Bigger is a 501(c)3 Non Profit Organization. Donations are tax deductible through IRS non profit EIN#26-3898006. Online donations are accepted through the Link below through Just Give, or can be Mailed to: Dream Bigger, 2221 G St, Bellingham, WA 98225.





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